10 plagues of Mobile

by Brian Katz on March 26, 2013 · 4 comments

As I am getting ready for the Passover Seder tonight, it occurs to me that Passover is very much like mobile in the enterprise. People have been struggling for years sitting in their cubicles and offices, chained to their mammoth desktop running some sort of Windows (most likely Windows XP). There are the lucky few, who instead of having a desktop actually have a laptop that allows them to move to the conference room or where they need to. The majority of workers though, are looking for a way out. They seek the exodus from their desk and are looking to fully embrace mobile any way they can.

charlton_heston_as_mosesIt all started with the CxO (Pharaoh) who walked in with that brand new device and wanted to be able to get his email on it. That rapidly evolved to the rest of the Egyptians (IT) and then the business wanted to participate as well. The CMO (Moses) went to IT and proclaimed “Let my people go (Mobile)!” This led to the 10 plagues of Mobile.

  1. Unfettered BYOD – Literally bring any device, including that Barnes and Noble Nook to get email and read your PDFs…the helpdesk never turns off.
  2. Expense Management – Do I give a subsidy? Are there tax implications? How much and to whom?
  3. Device Liability – Should I go with personal liability or corporate liability? Wait, now I need the lawyers…sigh.
  4. Content Management – You put the data where? Everyone is using every possible sharing mechanism. Where is our data now?
  5. Battery Life – We need to put charging stations where? How many of those external batteries did the business just order?
  6. Non-ubiquitous Network – The carrier map showed that they worked everywhere. What do you mean you can’t get data in the building?
  7. Lousy AutoCorrect – What did you just call my mother?
  8. Maps – What do you mean the office isn’t there? Didn’t you use Apple Maps? There’s a swamp? Look harder.
  9. OCM – Obsessive Compulsive Mobility – The phone isn’t in my pocket but I still feel it vibrating. I know we’re having a conversation but I need to check my device.

10. Crapplications – We gave you an app, what do you mean it doesn’t work? You uninstalled it? Why? But the auditors…

It was only after the tenth plague rose up that IT found a way to partner with the business and the users to enable them to be more flexible and agile while being more productive and efficient. Although, there are a few that didn’t respond, can’t really find them anymore, you all know the story of the parting of the Red Sea…if you keep saying no, you won’t survive very long.

Special thanks to Philippe Winthrop for helping dream up some of the plagues.

{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }

Walter Paley March 26, 2013 at 5:16 pm

This post is a real mitzvah, Brian. I love the blend of humor, religion, and technology… can we expect something on Easter Sunday as well? 🙂

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Isabelle Cholette March 28, 2013 at 8:22 am

Hilarious! Thanks for the poat!

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Angela Lepadatu April 25, 2013 at 4:58 am

Cool article! Congratulations for the creativity! I must say my favourite plague is number 10.

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